The owner of a grey cat (jennielf) wrote,
The owner of a grey cat
jennielf

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Crossroads

I find myself at a weird point in my life.

When I was younger, I was amazed that women would voluntarily give up their jobs, uproot their families, all for the sake of a husband's new job. I remember thinking to myself, I would NEVER do something like that! (Of course, I never really saw myself marrying anyone either...so...)

Now, here I am and I will be leaving the best, most comfortable, fun job I have ever had to follow my husband as he begins the next major step in his career. I feel a little lost. We have been discussing what to take, what we can fit in the new apartment, etc. Now, for those that have seen any house or apartment I have ever lived in will know that my book collection can nearly rival some small bookstores. I love those books. I have been collecting them for decades. I love the look of full bookshelves lining the walls. I will miss them terribly. I have no idea what we are going to do with them. :(

I also see myself on the precipice of a new great adventure as my husband and I begin to think about having a family. I have no idea what kind of a mother I will be. Fortunately, I have an amazing partner who is patient and willing to work with my depression and doubts as we work together towards this goal.

I have no idea if I will be able to find a job. I have seen some available in my field, but they tend to come and go much faster than I expect. I think I am pretty much at the top of my field where I am, but where I am going I have much much more competition. Am I ready for that? Will the question answer itself as I may only be in the job market for a year or so? (Husband makes much more than I do and we both agree that a stay-at-home parent is in the best interest of the potential children.)

I hate being stalled at a crossroads, just waiting for time to pass until the light turns green and I can safely speed away into my next life stage.

BTW - anyone want to buy a house in Melbourne, FL?
Tags: changes, danny, life, moving
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