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My but Im active today...

So, my coworker and I went shopping together for a wedding present for my boss. (Yes, we were both invited, its on Sat)...Afterwords we met up with some of her friends for a couple of drinks. Those who know me, know that this is not a situation i find myself in very often. Because: A) I dont drink. B) I dont hang out with people I dont know. C) I dont do idle chatter/conversation. D) I dont smoke and i dont like being around people who do.
However, i found myself being in a situation with all of the above, plus early 20-somethings who im not going to judge and make assumuptions about, but i noticed taht they all were having a difficult time holding conversations of more than a few sentences. Fortunately, I could order food and eat and not have to be chatty. This was a Good ThingTM.
I learned several things tonight. A) I do not find people who are getting drunk, just to hang out and be drunk, much fun to be around. I lose respect for these people very very quickly. B) Freshly minced garlic on french fries is excellent. C) I still dont like being around people who smoke and dont care if they blow it in your face. D) I have very little patience or respect for people who talk over other people...(yes, i know i do this often, its one of the things to work on this year) E) I am not a fluffy-headed (sorry, i am making assumptions, but please forgive me) sorority girl who has no thought in her brain other than what to drink next or how amazingly crappy her step-parent is or which of my friends said x, y, or z and pissed me off. (yes, i know my pronouns are all confused, deal with it) F) The people I was with tonight really made me miss my friends in Atlanta. Intelligent conversation is something i miss in a big big way. G) I lead a sad existence when all i wanted to do was get back to my laptop and blog about this (because this is the closest thing to an intelligent conversation I will have for a week). H) I am lonely. I) I dont like idle chatter, and I especially don't like idle chatter with people I dont know. J) I just looked over this and I realized, i am an intellectual snob. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

To defend myself and some of my remarks above...I do like hanging with my friends and family. i enjoy a pleasant time in a relaxed atmosphere, however, I shouldnt feel guilty for not drinking something. (Sorry, sore point, im working through a bit of subconcious peer pressure) (And it helps where there is common ground with which to start talking about.) I enjoy intelligent conversation. Now, im not saying i only enjoy debating politics or anything, but there is definetly more to life than who said what to whom at a party. And if a friend does not want to hang out, at least i am not selfish enough to berate them for trying to place grad school and sanity before going to get a drink with friends at 9:00 at night. (That little overheard conversation (at the table!!) annoyed me no end!)

So anyone with any bright ideas on how to get me to not retreat further into my self-imposed hermitage and not become a 30yo grump, shaking my fist and yelling "Kids these days!" I started working at the bookstore to help with that, and I do enjoy working there and talking to my co-workers...am i being an alarmist? do i just live in a different reality than those i hung with tonight?and not worry about it? How does one start finding new friends and so forth when the idea of going out and doing what i did tonight fills me with dread?

hmmmmmm....

Comments

( 6 Tummy Rubs — Pet Angela? )
cathalexp
Jan. 5th, 2007 03:20 pm (UTC)
I don't think you should feel bad about not wanting to hang out with folks you don't have stuff in common with. And I m asking this seriously, have you though about finding a mensa chapter near you? That is how Archen and Charles met and became fast friends.
jennielf
Jan. 5th, 2007 07:17 pm (UTC)
Ive not thought about hanging with a mensa chapter...I guess what i really wish is that i could fine cool but smart people like you and courtney and andrew down here easily to go see movies with and do dinner with....
caseofme
Jan. 5th, 2007 07:10 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't have anything in common with the 20 something crowd either. We are just in a different stage of our life than they are. There is nothing wrong with that.
jennielf
Jan. 5th, 2007 07:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you. That does make me feel better. I still feel like im being judgemental tho...However, there are 20-somethings that I work with that i like to hang (or would like to hang out with outside of work) with...maybe it was just them...I just have this bad habit of overthinking and trying to give others the benefit of the doubt...
bellaland
Jan. 6th, 2007 05:29 pm (UTC)
from my vast experience...
and wizened age...*giggle*

I will say a couple of things - one, that those types just seem to grow and become the 30, 40, 50 year olds that are STILL like that. Just as the in-crowd from high school hasn't really changed, these types have a tendency to be happy with their choices and continue on with them. Sais la vie, but not for me.

That type of socialization doesn't seem to change over time and if it is not your cuppa, it doesn't become any better over time.

If you have the time/money - take a class at the local college that is stimulating - photography, mac-geeks-unite, creative writing, etc - something that you have an interest in and there should be someone there who shares that interest - and possibly others as well - or at least will be able to converse on one topic you like. *smiles*

It is hard when you are an intellectual elitest to find others of a like ilk - but they are out there...I promise.

Hugs
jennielf
Jan. 6th, 2007 05:43 pm (UTC)
Re: from my vast experience...
Thanks for your advice. I am starting to feel better, its nice to know that it is just not me...and that these people will still be shallow and subtly evil for a long time and that while it means i will not "fit in" with them, I think im learning that that is an OK ThingTM....
( 6 Tummy Rubs — Pet Angela? )